Facing Fear with Courage for a Purpose
"Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth" -Katherine Mansfield
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There are too many people living in pain who instead of feeling, observing and responding to their pain, are instead acting out on their pain, inflicting it onto others.
Instead of acknowledging pain, embracing failure or risking more, they are choosing to hide, live life disappointed and hurt. Their hurt then transfers into their relationships, at home, at work, amongst their family and friends.
It becomes the virus (dis-ease) that spreads.
They are choosing to live this part of their life in secrecy and shame, distorting the truth, deflecting support and opportunity, generalising opposition and seeing negativity as a victim instead of the potential victor.
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Success is never guaranteed. It is also personal and not comparative.
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Bob Dylan said:
“What is success ? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do”
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Albert Einstein wrote:
“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value”
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When a person avoids pain by focusing on diminishing another in favour of spotlighting themselves or avoiding the spotlight for fear of ‘being found out’; when they posture for position or title or promote themselves in favour of each, they are already in the position of pain and doing all they can to avoid it.
Anger reflects sadness, it is an impossible emotion by itself.
Joy reflects surrender, gratitude and embracing another. Fear and isolation is it’s opposite.
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Communication, consideration, compassion are our only means of moving forward, our only means of living completely.
When we see difficulty, we see one or more of these missing so how do we respond to this ? How do we step forward and support one another or ourselves if it is our experience ?
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We see this experience in our children, in schools, in the workplace and in our relationships. We label it and state it is not acceptable yet it continues, we create systems and procedures yet it continues, we acknowledge mental health statistics, recruitment and retention expenses, motivation and succession planning deficits and yet it continues.
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The reason is always inclusion in the face of fear.
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There is a reason why the rate of marriage has decreased in the last 10 years universally, it reflects the decline in emotional communication and connection and an increase in fear, isolation (labelled independence) and the avoidance of pain.
When we begin to act and behave with humility, provision, a desire to grow as an individual and not be afraid of positivity, then we shall grow and embrace vulnerability. Then we shall achieve well beyond our intentions at home, in our relationships and in the workplace.
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Communication brings us forward. Acknowledging our own fears and uncertainties when supporting others brings us forward. When we recognise that pain and hurt and failure and setbacks are traffic lights and signposts highlighting opportunity not opposition, then we move forward.
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Lao Tzu
“When I let go of who I am, I become who I might be”
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Oprah Winfrey:
"Unless you choose to do great things with it, it makes no difference how much you are rewarded, or how much power you have"
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Communication in the face of fear is the responsible resolve in the face of inequality, judgment, civil rights, oppression, domestic violence, child abuse, poverty, struggle, mental health. We desperately need more and more people to step forward not as victims, rather as victors and active advocates for change.
If an organisation seeks profitability and stakeholder commitment and support, then transparency and inclusion will gain more notoriety than any new marketing gimmick or technological advancement. Without people, there is no organisation. With mass turnover, there is mass expense and no advancement only isolation and a victimised culture.
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The same applies in schools, classrooms, playgrounds, sports grounds, clubs, homes and relationships. Fear drives people away or into accepted discomfort, the life not worth living or the life not remembered.
Change occurs when those people who find the path forward amongst the fog of fear, the embarrassment, the demeaning commentary and the apposition or lack of support, share their path with others yearning to be, do and have more.
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At the end of the day, when we are all dead and gone, we wish to be remembered. We all have an impact on others, how we provide this reflects how we lead our lives, how we demonstrated courage or found courage with trust. We do not need to begin with certainty or clarity over the solution, we simply need have clarity over how important our own life or the life of another is. That is enough. You are enough.
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Billy Wilder says:
“Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else's"
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Living by what matters to you, being the example, is a very different Life
What does that look like to you ?
“If it matters to You : it matters to Me”
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