People often avoid speaking about failure and focus on success, success, success; however without failure, humility, awareness, inclusion, structural amendment and growth, there can be no success, success, success.
In traditional terms, failure can be seen as an exposed vulnerability, limitation, inadequacy, lack of experience, position or seniority, failure can be seen as ‘less’.
The reason why homo-sapiens (wise-man) succeeded where all other homo-types failed, is because they operated together, as a collective. They saw themselves as successful through perseverance, humility, trust and tenacity. Ironically it has been our success across millennia that has also resulted in our self-isolation through separatism, ego and arrogance hiding a fear of not being good enough, not belonging and being found out; of failing.
When we recognise the emotional, mental and physical hardship, actions and behaviours behind the outcome of failure then we recognise the individual and the effort, mindset, determination and gaps in opportunity that led them and all others seeking a similar path. In essence, we learn so we may grow, teach and succeed together: Listen, Learn, Language, Lead.
If we are going to risk new and innovative things - we are going to fail
If we are going to risk caring and engaging - we are going to experience disappointment
It doesn’t matter if our hurt is caused by a painful breakup or a comment by a work colleague or family member
If we can learn how to observe, respond not react and feel our way through and take responsibility not fault or shame, then we create the position of example and growth, of empowerment and courage . When we take responsibility we stop being submissive, compliant and dependent, we recognise that blame, shame and complain send us away from where we aim to be, from all that matters to us, is important and aligns with our values. . We take time to define our own values and write our own story instead of living someone else’s In essence we learn, grow and teach all at the same time . Theodore Roosevelt writes: “It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails by daring greatly”
If we avoid embracing failure, mistakes, accountability, then we embrace shame, secrecy, segregation, distortion and generalisation.
Learning to trust, ask questions, cohabit and learn from others without assumption, expectation or humiliation is the one and only key to success, success, success. It builds a relationship at home, at work, between friends and family, in fact, in any team environment: two or more people. Isolation is exclusion and exclusion is assumption, avoidance and fear.
Living by what matters to you, being the example, is a very different Life
I know this is important to you because you are important, your work is important to you, your example and the positive impact you have on others is important to you. This is how you will be remembered isn't it.
What does that look like to you ?
If it matters to You : it matters to Me
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