Maintaining the End of a Relationship

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” —Les Brown

All too many couples, married or otherwise have their relationship unfortunately fall into disrepair with the post-fallout experience demonstrating an enormous depravity of negative conversation, anger, hurt and emotional turmoil.

This experience can be months, sometimes years before the relationship finally ends. Reasons vary and are never a means of moving forward, although they are a means toward learning about ourselves.

To understand another person does not necessitate creating a new life with them, nor accepting the old one; afterall to understand another means to completely understand ourselves.

Even more unfortunate is when children are involved.

Children were afterall, the glimmer in our eye, the hope for more, the piece in the jigsaw puzzle of our dreams and as we well know having been children ourselves; the complete innocents, not to blame and yet those who often suffer most.

So how does one move forward and create, retain or develop a positive, considerate relationship when the relationship ends especially when children are involved…?

Actually it is vastly more simplistic than perceived and yes I speak from experience, in case you were wondering.

A relationship between two people is exactly the same as that we have with ourselves.

“Do unto others, as you would do unto your Self”

“If you want people to Follow. Be the Example”

"Circumstances don't make a person, they reveal Them"

5 Steps to Leading a More Constructive Life include:

1. Consideration:

You have heartache, fears, hopes, dreams; So do they. Be considerate.

2. Communication:

You need to know information, are appreciative when it is received. So are they. Communicate often. Be clear, concise, relevant. Stay on topic

3. Compassion:

You are hurting. So are they. Have compassion that the unfortunate circumstances that led you both to this point are not one sided. Both are in pain (even when you think the other is fine…)

4. Collaboration:

(especially with children) It is not about ‘winning’ or ‘balancing’. Be the example not the victim. Children see everything. Peers see everything. Stand tall, be Proud of Yourself and your Behaviour regardless how others are. Self Pride = Self Worth = Outstanding Example. Reflect often.

5. Consistency:

Exactly as it says. Be consistent in all aspects. Consistency is your Habit. Consistency is your Example. Consistency is your Legacy

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