Have you ever wondered what the difference between Counselling and Coaching is ?
Both are important and valuable and relevant to differing needs and stages of repression and development.
In all scenario's, only outcome and a sustainable capability is important.
When it comes to managing depression, anxiety, despair: there are two options:
Verbal Sharing v Measured Support
When we come unstuck - when the addiction, the anxiety, the overwhelm finally makes waves we cannot escape and we speak to a professional, we discover two options.
Verbal Sharing and Measured Support
Both can lead to progress
One operates from a foundation and measures all actions & behaviours aligned to this generating strategies, empowerment, awareness and confidence.
The other vocalises & relieves us of pain through exposure. Exposure then assumes a capability when the person is confronted with the same challenge again (or avoidance).
What is foundation ?
Knowing clearly what is important & matters to you, your values, beliefs, goals and remaining congruent to this.
Measuring all interactions & behaviours by this alone
Alignment or compliance is key
Deviation results in difficulties when challenges re-appear
Reality says that when a person has no concrete, clear, certain, convincing, congruent foundation - then the same previous challenges send us straight back down the rabbit warren. We defer to Fight - Flight - Freeze.
So what does this look like ?
Example: person managing addictions and fears with no foundations
reality shows that avoidance keeps them safe for a short period of time
truth shows that having foundations keep them empowered, capable, safer through strategy and awareness of past habits
Example: person who sees doctor for depression, only to be measured on the suicide scale rather than heard and taught how and why identifying & creating foundations can be their anchor, their focus, their way forward.
So what’s the difference ?
Time: foundations speed up the process of shifting inconceivable pain, negative habits or overwhelm through awareness.
Exposure conversely through discussions, soften the pain in the hope the person will eventually ‘move past’ sensitive challenges.
Why do people avoid identifying foundations ?
Because it is difficult to acknowledge something so powerful it might change your World for the positive.
Because there is comfort in known discomfort of pain or a gentler version of pain.
Because there is misperceived embarrassment, humiliation, (self imposed) shame (see Brené Brown ‘The Power of Vulnerability’) which keeps us in discomfort.
How do we resolve anxiety, depression, despair ?
Through strong foundations.
Through gentle stretches of conscious awareness.
Through aligned actions and strategies
Reality shows people only make empowering decisions when they’ve had enough pain. Only when it matters enough, will action occur.
Therefore to move forward, seeing, hearing, feeling ‘how it could be’ in pain versus pleasure and ‘what will that give you’, need always be identified.
Everything we do has a pattern
It had a beginning and has an end
It is learnt not naturally forming, it is neurological and therefore habit
All habits may be adjusted if the desire, the pain, is enough that it matters. This is reality
Who do you know who deserves more, needs help, has had enough pain or is simply ready to make adjustments in their life ?
If it matters to you : It matters to me
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