“Let’s talk about Narcism”

Today i wanted to speak of a phrase I often use given it is relevant to ‘you name it’ situations:


“Circumstances don’t make a Person, they Reveal Them”


Clients and conversations of late have constantly had narcissistic people draining them of energy, certainty, clarity, courage and value

So let’s explore what that is


Narcism is a lifestyle

Narcism says this works for me - that does not - you come over here - or not

Narcism is a choice


It is consideration of ones self alone, singular, solo

there is no external consideration whatsoever


Communication also is internal, the only value is ones own opinion, thoughts, processes, outcomes

It does not seek unity or a tribe

Narcism seeks domination, control, direction


Once domination has been established - whether through verbal, mental, emotional manipulation or in extreme circumstances ‘abuse’ - whether of a child, partner, ex-partner or colleague

Once assertion is confirmed, measured and in place, only then are sub-chiefs allowed to control in lieu of the narcissist themselves

The 2IC or second in charge. The supervisor, reporter or subordinate


In the workplace this is the manager in a toxic culture - maintaining the standards of oppression, expectation and demand


In the home this is partner of the destructive ex - demanding children do as they are told when told, be seen when desired or not, behave as desired otherwise there shall be repercussions


In school this is the bully’s offsider - maintaining ‘law and order’ until the bully themselves decides to re-assert their position


This being said, this can also be an existing partner in a relationship, an existing teacher in school, an existing parent, colleague or friend