top of page

“Let’s talk about Narcism”

Today i wanted to speak of a phrase I often use given it is relevant to ‘you name it’ situations:

“Circumstances don’t make a Person, they Reveal Them”

Clients and conversations of late have constantly had narcissistic people draining them of energy, certainty, clarity, courage and value

So let’s explore what that is

Narcism is a lifestyle

Narcism says this works for me - that does not - you come over here - or not

Narcism is a choice

It is consideration of ones self alone, singular, solo

there is no external consideration whatsoever

Communication also is internal, the only value is ones own opinion, thoughts, processes, outcomes

It does not seek unity or a tribe

Narcism seeks domination, control, direction

Once domination has been established - whether through verbal, mental, emotional manipulation or in extreme circumstances ‘abuse’ - whether of a child, partner, ex-partner or colleague

Once assertion is confirmed, measured and in place, only then are sub-chiefs allowed to control in lieu of the narcissist themselves

The 2IC or second in charge. The supervisor, reporter or subordinate

In the workplace this is the manager in a toxic culture - maintaining the standards of oppression, expectation and demand

In the home this is partner of the destructive ex - demanding children do as they are told when told, be seen when desired or not, behave as desired otherwise there shall be repercussions

In school this is the bully’s offsider - maintaining ‘law and order’ until the bully themselves decides to re-assert their position

This being said, this can also be an existing partner in a relationship, an existing teacher in school, an existing parent, colleague or friend

Narcism is learnt by increasing levels of manipulation over others across time

Typically it is taught by example - at home, work, school or friendship circles

The greatest threat to a narcissist is hope, faith, creativity, positivity, optimism, empathy and internal awareness

A narcissist will seek to break these down, devalue or divide in order to achieve domination

The phrase “Circumstances don’t make a Person, they Reveal Them” reflects on what a person does with the information they are faced with. It reflects on how a person decides between reacting to enforce - or respond through observation

In the end only facts pave the way

Facts are the financial statement of what actually occurred, how to actually move forward, what actually worked versus did not and how each of these align to what outcome was actually desired

Narcissists live where the other person does not recognise nor seek to recognise what is important and matters to them

Narcissist thrive on taking empowerment away from others to bend them to their own desires, opinions, thoughts, processes and outcomes

Knowing and learning how to identify what is important and matters to you is the greatest gift you may ever provide yourself, teach another and share by example

It can be incredibly difficult to recognise something so inherently important as purpose and acknowledge the difference between what we allow versus what we need.

The past is to reflect upon, the future is to look toward, the present is to measure and live by

To anything, there is always choice. you were born to be yourself so let’s begin

Narcissists cannot live in a world where observation reigns and choice is made by facts aligned to what is important and matters to you, to the example you wish to be, set and appreciate in reflection

That is where you start. where we start together. please allow me to help you create the life you crave over the life you accept

One conversation is all it takes to open doors and re-start that life of consideration, communication, connection

Matt Wood - I’ve been there. I’ve helped there. You matter

#flicktheswitchcoaching #SuccessThroughLeadership #leadership #teamwork #businessRecruitment #accountability #SelfValue #SelfLove #vulnerability #BusinessWomen #relationships #motivation #BusinessCoach #GrowthMindset #BusinessMentor #Goals #BusinessOwner #SalesSuccess #SydneyBusiness #MelbourneBusiness #BrisbaneBusiness #AucklandBusiness #SelfDevelopment

bottom of page