Talking about people's beliefs, how they came to be, how they may be met, managed or shifted is like discussing politics or religion, it is effectively one and the same. Beliefs become our identity, meaning in essence it is Identity Theft...
Who were you before you believed 'something'. Where did that belief come from, when did it change, how many beliefs have you had that have shifted and why ?
When we speak of beliefs, we often refer to personal life and yet our beliefs heavily influence how we interact, respond, react, observe and expect in the workplace. If a belief is to be a part of our identity, then it reflects the relationships we have.
In essence it doesn’t matter if a belief is true, right or real, it only matters does the belief allow us to produce the results we want in our life or not ? Beliefs include:
1. When we calibrate our behaviour “actions speak louder than words” 7% of the meaning of communication comes from the words we use, 38% due to tonality and 55% due to physiology. It begs to question how we influence our communication with another person through our physiology and tonality where we presume our actual words would yet are not having any affect. Tonality and physiology are repeated patterns learnt from those we looked up to growing up and/ or in the workplace. We repeat other peoples patterns consistently, yet ignore from whence they came.
2. When a person provides consideration for another persons ‘map of the world’ or perception of the world, then we offer the opportunity to communicate in a more collaborative, connected manner. We offer compassion in negotiation, courtesy in inclusion and awareness in realising a common outcome that achieves what it was set out to do.
If our purpose if to achieve the most positive outcome possible, consideration achieves far greater outcomes through flexibility, than the limitation of presumption and ignorance. Understanding that our perception is not the worlds view and is limited to just ourself, allows for greater achievements, growth, productivity, conversations to occur.
All communication is about pacing and leading, which means becoming aware of physiology, tonality, having consideration and asking questions to confirm understanding with the other person.the greatest form of communication comes from acknowledge, validate, flip ie: courtesy, consideration, accountability. We do this in order to listen, learn, language, then lead in a positive direction having recognised where the other person is at.
The greatest communicator generates the greatest change and achieves the greatest outcomes, mastering communication means mastering behavioural identification, inclusion not exclusion, retention not turnover, succession not replacement, leadership not management.
3. When we consider the ecology (consequences of actions & behaviours) of the situation must be considered and evaluated (safe to me, safe to others, safe to the environment)
Our best means of helping someone with behavioural change is to accept the person behind the behaviour by identifying effect (the cause)
When we understand that a persons perception is not necessarily reality although it is theirs, then we are in a position to adjust perception to the outcome the person desires. Ericsson says “people only have specific resources, opportunity exists in providing resources unknown so they have a better chance of reaching the goal, shift in habit or outcome”
4. When we notice signs of resistance are due to a lack of rapport, or insufficient pacing
This requires a backup and start again approach
5. When we recognise we are in charge of our mind we achieve our results, often people say they are not in control of their thoughts
When someone says they just feel or think something, ask “how do you do that, show me what happens, what do you do first, and then, and then ?” “describe to me where you are, when, how, why that starts that process ?
When we believe in our process then our behaviours and actions reflect this
6. There is only feedback not failure therefore utilise everything
There is no such thing as failure, there is only results, only feedback
When we consider the process that leads to perceived failure, then we become aware, we IAMARR and have the ability to change our behaviours to achieve the results we do want, the choice and ability is always ours
Awareness generates growth
7. Unresourceful people do not exist only unresourceful states of behaviour
It is not a question of capacity (ability), it is a question of what behavioural/ emotional state you are in in that moment
A person always has the ability to be in an empowered state and access all the resources they need to succeed
This includes state of leadership, power, decisiveness, action, productivity, leadership covers states of induction
8. Measuring peoples responses are the best way to evaluate the effectiveness of communication
People evaluate their level or effectiveness based on what they thought/ felt/ would like to have said, where it fails we blame and complain however this provides the ability to measure the persons reaction v response and amend our communication accordingly to achieve the goal we desire.
Former communication courses state we are 50% responsible for our communication, this means we give up 50% of empowerment to someone else rather than be 100% responsible for what we say and do to achieve the results we seek
9. Change occurs when the unconscious mind shifts to the conscious mind to produces long lasting results
When people want to behave differently, the shift occurs on the unconscious mind before their decisive conscious mind ie: the conscious mind can conflict with what they really believe or are trapped in believing eg. weight, finances, lifestyle, work opportunities
10. Having a Mission, Vision and Goals determines your focus and therefore results
This impacts our conscious and unconscious mindset, when we believe and are congruent with our goals as a passion, purpose, place, position then we can achieve them, when not, then we won’t
When we take charge of our goals and make them compelling, then we shift our unconscious and conscious awareness and results occur
11. Outcome is determined by expectations: in life we don’t get what we want, we get what we expect
When we take charge of our unconscious expectations, we achieve results
12. Help people get what they want most so you achieve what you want most
This is the law of reciprocity or giving/ contributing and as sa result good things return
13. Choice is the desired condition
“I didn’t have a choice” aka a lack of accountability or responsibility
When we focus or observe what we say, do, be then we accept who we are, the example we set and the choices we make, we become aware of how aligned we are to what it is we wish to achieve
14. An ecological frame always supports outcomes: the more aligned a person is to their values, beliefs, important and matters, the greater the chances of achieving the results they seek.
15. Situational behavioural flexibility increases effectiveness
How does this appear in your life ?
If it matters to You : it matters to Me
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