Reconciliation begins before Communication

A reconciliation may never happen but what is important is where you stand.

“Circumstances do not make a person, they reveal them”

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What I mean by this is that when we are clear and certain on our own values, on what is important and matters to us, our relationships, our home, our workplace and our interactions with others. When we can see the example that we wish to present and be remembered for, when we know what that example would do for us should we receive it in return. This is all we require moving forward to achieve our goals, build our relationships, support others to achieve their goals and manage those opposed to us for whatever reasons they hold at the time.

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We cannot control and should not seek to control, other people. We may only be the very best example we can be because that alone matters enough and that alone sincerely considers others.

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“No matter how clear or creative our voice, no matter how persistent our efforts to be heard, we may not get the results we want.

Other people may fail to respond to us with sensitivity, empathy or fairness. They may refuse to respect our request for even a simple behavioural change, they may not show up for the conversation. Still we may choose speech over silence as a way to honour to our own need for language and self definition”

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Shakespeare - “This above all else to thy known self be true”

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If we are not true to ourselves we live disconnected lives and we cannot love ourselves or anybody else as we would like. As we may recognise, having sincerity means we also need restraint, we need consideration before communication.

Sometimes there is a gap between what we say and what we feel, it is never an issue to have nor to share genuine feelings when we employ this consideration and compassion for the other person with what we hope to accomplish in mind.

Love for ourselves and love for another means having compassion first. It means measuring our response before (or after) and realigning to the outcome desired, that outcome being consideration for the other and a higher resolve. Anything less not only diminishes what we say we want for ourselves and the example we set, equally importantly, it diminishes the other person and what they may be trying to resolve or share and the joint outcome both are attempting to accomplish.

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How we are remembered and the legacy we leave does not begin at the end of our lives, it begins with every action we take and how we respond, consider, communicate and demonstrate compassion toward another person. We are remembered in every moment. Each moment opens or closes the door to enable a deeper relationship, greater opportunities and accomplishing the mutually desired outcome in the next moment.