Saying Less to Move Closer in a Relationship
Most men have no experience nor did they learnt to confide in friends or share their personal issues with parents, family or siblings - to do so is a courageous act of change.
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When a person calms down from emotional hype, overthinking and reaction, they have an opportunity to think strategically about how to best approach an issue. Maturity reflects awareness, supports discipline and brings a person closer to where they want to be.
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Closer to the prize (desired outcome) if you will.
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Having the ability to say less when compelled to say more, to not pursue when desperate to do so and to keep communication focused entirely on yourself, is difficult yet necessary.
This is particularly true when a person wants for nothing more than to convince another to think, feel and act differently or in the a relationship, to come back if they have left.
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Nothing leaves a person more vulnerable than the threat of a lost relationship. When overwhelmed with thoughts we assume we are thinking and being thoughtful, however we are actually avoiding, intellectualising and reacting. We are ultimately avoiding our feelings.
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To acknowledge and apologise can be one of the most impactful decisions any person may make. Irregardless whether they were in the right or not, it is not about the competition and status, rather about the self recognition, the higher truth to focus on themselves, take care of themselves completely in order to move forward with those issues or people who they love most.
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Men are often criticised for being logical rather than emotional, for thinking and finding solutions rather than listening and supporting. It is certainly true that when people do this, they are removing themselves in order to avoid the emotional connection that binds them together, however…. it is never useful to lose the capacity for compassion.
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When a person see’s that another has removed themselves emotionally, it does not support the outcome to demoralise them by telling them they are ‘emotionless’ or ‘focused on fixing problems’. The reality is, the depth of the emotion attached to the relationship connection is so incredibly sensitive that only compassion aligns. Only compassion eases the desperation.
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It can be difficult to provide compassion when in the midst of reaction. This is called observation. If we have the ability to point something out because we see it, anticipate it or feel it; that is our moment for compassion.
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“Circumstances do not make a person, they reveal them”
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How we reveal our intentions is always our choice and always our responsibility. There is no 50/50
We were born to serve our life and be an example to others. We choose what example we aim to be
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Living by what matters to you, being the example, is a very different Life
An enjoyable, grateful, empowered and complete one
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What does that look like to you ?
If it matters to You : it matters to Me
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